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Jun 09

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Share an Anecdote

My church is a lay ministry so everyone pitches in and does their portion.  The leader of my congregation receives no stipend; neither do the teachers, missionaries, music people or anyone else in the church.  When a person gets a new job we call it a calling because you are called to do whatever it is.  Sometimes it’s a big revelation kind of deal and sometimes it’s just out of necessity and not so much inspiration.  Heck, maybe even sometimes there’s a bit of a joke involved.  I think my new calling is a joke and that God has a sense of humor; and not the good HAHAHA kind, but the slap your forehead “are you kiiiiiiiiding me” kind.

For the past 6+ years I have been the Camp Director.  This involves getting the young women ready for camp, which includes things like making sure the girls are certified on certain things (like first aid and survival skills), fund raising, meeting, planning, hounding, prodding, begging, pleading, etc.  Then for a week in the summer we execute and camp.  It’s a hard job and kudos to anyone who has ever done it.  Seriously, I mean that!

With girls 12-18 there is ALWAYS some sort of drama, it’s to be expected.  After 6 years of drama I was really ready for a break, and surprisingly I got one.  I got released from that calling and was asked to take on a new one (no rest for the weary…or is it wicked?).  When the calling was extended I actually laughed, right in the Bishop’s face; it was sort of an accident, but I couldn’t contain it.  He asked me to be Relief Society chorister.  Seriously?  Do you even KNOW me?  I would not consider myself musical, I rarely sing in the car when people are around, I play no musical instrument, I’m only in the choir because my best friend leads it; and let it be known it took a good 3 years of begging for her to actually get me to do it.  I said to him, “Bishop, are you sure you mean me?  Just because two of my best friends are musical, doesn’t actually mean *I* am.”  He didn’t fall for it, and I took the job, albeit begrudgingly.  Every time I thought about leading the music I burst into tears, that’s how badly I did not want to do it.

I had to get my musical friends to actually teach me HOW to lead the music.  I mean, I know 4/4 looks like a ‘t’ and 3/4 looks like a triangle and 2/4 just goes back and forth, but that does not make a music leader.  Sometimes, if I don’t know what I’m doing, I just spell my name over and over and hope it ends.  On my first day I went to the pianist and said, “look, I have no idea what I’m doing, do not follow me, do not expect me to lead you.  Do your thing and I’ll try to keep up.”  We muddled through okay I suppose.  A friend of mine said, “A good tip is to keep a finger on the book to keep your place.  I saw that you lost your place and I watched your face blanch.”  It did, too.  They’re just lucky I didn’t burst into tears and run from the room.  Yes, that’s how badly I don’t want to do it.  I would gladly go back to Camp Director if it meant not doing this!

My friend qwendy is a true friend.  She knows how badly I don’t want to do this, and she knows it’s some sort of cosmic joke that I have to.  We were chatting about it this morning and discussing my plight.  See, I had shoulder surgery in October and recovery hasn’t gone as well as I had hoped.  It still hurts and when I lead the music I have to do it backwards; with my left arm and I always go the wrong way first (did you know there was a right direction to start?).  I’m going back to see the dr. this afternoon to see if there’s anything we can do about the constant pain.

Qwendy: ya know…
Qwendy: I’m a bit of an opportunist
Qwendy: and I’m thinking…
cimblog(tm): sure sure
Qwendy: that gets you out of your new calling
Qwendy: and into primary
Qwendy: where I need you
cimblog(tm): oh man
cimblog(tm): wendy
cimblog(tm): i’m not even kidding
cimblog(tm): i would go back to camp director
cimblog(tm): i really dislike this calling
cimblog(tm): and linny’s all “oh, can’t you change your attitude so that you can start to love it…?”
cimblog(tm): and then i want to punch her
cimblog(tm): “i don’t see why you hate it so much…”
cimblog(tm): and then i kick her
cimblog(tm): “it’s not that bad…”
cimblog(tm): and then i body slam her
Qwendy: Oh I get it
Qwendy: cimblog(tm)
Qwendy: it’s a terrible calling for you.
Qwendy: although… you could oomph it up.
cimblog(tm): maybe i need a baton
cimblog(tm): a really big one
cimblog(tm): with FIRE on the end
Qwendy: HOORAY that’s the spirit
Qwendy: I was thinking you should share a little anecdote
cimblog(tm): oh
cimblog(tm): what anecdote would that be?
Qwendy: like… “did you know this song was written by a kidnapped detainee while trapped in a basement… what hope … what courage.. she showed while writing this”
Qwendy: the best part is…
cimblog(tm): BWWWWWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Qwendy: I don’t think your history should be true.
cimblog(tm): well of course not
Qwendy: I think you should just make it all up
cimblog(tm): what a wonderful idea
cimblog(tm): “this song was written by a gentleman while high on PCP yet he still foraged ahead with tramendous courage…”
Qwendy: did you know that Come Come Ye Saints was adapted from a Wiccan song used to lure Christians to the dark side during the Salem Witch Trials
cimblog(tm): BAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
cimblog(tm): [spit take]
cimblog(tm): [wipes off monitor]

Okay, now I’m seeing potential in this calling.

Permanent link to this article: http://cimblog.cimmy.com/?p=1082

2 comments

  1. linny

    *stars*birds*stars*planets*birds**googly eyes and missing a tooth* Still reeling from the beating I took for encouraging Cimblog(tm) to try to enjoy her calling…

  2. cimblog(tm)

    Yeah…sorry about the beating. I guess chorister and WWF go hand in hand…

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