This is my friend La’s new kitty Max.  Max the Cirque du Soleil kitty!

Oxymoron?

You know how you get those FW emails with pictures of things that can’t possibly be real?  My friends text’d these pictures of a van they came across on Saturday.  WOW!  (and yes, they’re real, it’s worth the clicks, trust me)

I came to Utah for a “family emergency” and took some pictures today.  Enjoy.

I love that Facebook reconnects me with friends I have not spoken to in ages.  The problem Facebook presents for me, however, is that my memory is terrible and occasionally I will get a friend request from someone I’m sure I have never ever heard of.  What do you do with those?  I once got a friend request from someone that slapped me and I nearly added her, but then I thought to myself, “I’m an adult, I don’t have to add this person who was unkind to me.” [Ignore]

(As a side note, my dad was a boxer and he taught me to fight.  It took great restraint not to deck this girl right there.  Truth be told, I was more afraid of the principal than I was this girl)

To that end, I’m going to make a confession…ahem…I hated high school.  I didn’t feel like I fit in anywhere (which now that I’m older I understand that’s how most people felt), I didn’t feel like I had too many friends, I got made fun of, so I didn’t really love it.  *sigh*

I got a friend request recently from someone who was friends with a lot of my friends.  I racked my brain trying to figure out who this was.  I looked at his one bad picture; nothing.  I thought and thought and have no recollection of this person.  After a couple of days I finally added him out of guilt.  Then…he IM’d me.  I successfully made small-talk without actually saying, “WHO ARE YOU?!”.  But I had to know.

I sent an email to one of our mutual friends.

Subject: Who is….

[Insert name]…

I have no recollection and not wanting to be rude I chatted with him when he IMd me. But seriously…Old age…Menopause…Memory blocking…? for the life of me I can’t place him.

_________________________

Lol – at least it’s not just me. [Insert name] was in our class at [high school]. I didn’t have any classes with him, but do remember him. I don’t remember any distinguishing activities or clubs he was in. You guys likely had a class together and he’s nursed a crush on your for all these years . After twenty three years, he finally got up the courage to talk to you…and you don’t even remember him!!! (wink wink).

__________________________

Well, fortunately I know the crush thing isn’t true because he’s added most people I know from HS. *sigh* Nothing, his name is now sounding familiar to me, but I can’t tell if that because I’ve said it over and over and over…or I really do have some recollection.

__________________________

Fine, just break the boy’s heart, again!

So, I’m not any closer to figuring out who this person is…but he’s my Facebook friend.  For now, anyway.

This post incorporates conversations had over a number of days.  I don’t generally broadcast the type of pet I have…for a number of reasons.

Facebook status: cimblog(tm) is using my lunch to go buy mealworms…yes, mealworms! …and possibly a deer lick.

A friend from high school (who I have not talked to in years and years…thank you Facebook) suggested I not forget the crickets.

cimblog(tm): Can you believe he turned his nose up at cricket. Snobby pet!

My friend then directed me to this post on her blog. [I'll give you a moment]  Notice the comment I made.

This made me laugh and laugh!  Cut to an email sent to me by said friend:

Friend: The missing underwear were due to a quick-change after swim team. I don’t condone it, I just accept it. There are some things a 14 yr old should manage on their own.

cimblog(tm): BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! …and if said 14 yr old cannot manage he must pay the consequence. I’m just sayin’…

Friend: Hence, the sensation of crickets in her pants…

cimblog(tm): Oh, now see….that is something I would expect from a 14 year old boy…NOT a 14 year old girl.

Friend: One would think, but I’ve been WAY surprised.

I then filled my friend in on my pet, and the adventures I’ve had.

Friend: GASP! You have a HEDGEHOG??? I TOTALLY want a HEDGEHOG! I posted a month or so ago that I wanted one. Did you pick him up in the wild? Is he fierce? I bet he would eat spiders if his owner wasn’t a chicken hedgehog owner. Can hedgehogs look ashamed?

I can send the cricket pants kid over to help you if you’d like.

cimblog(tm): I totally have a hedgehog! He’s AWESOME! They are illegal in in some states (but only by default…because any animal not specifically noted in the regulations is illegal…that’s how I justify it anyway) so I took a roadtrip to get one and smuggled it over the border! I was always a rebel, wasn’t I?

I’m totally a chicken hedgehog owner when it comes to spiders! I have been known to call my best friend and next door neighbor to come over and kill them. When I lived in American Fork, Utah I called my friend in Pleasant Grove to come save me from a big one that was charging me. (before she came over I mustered the courage to slay it with my Samurai sword…so it was all good)…and also I was having a meltdown over spilling paint all over the carpet of my rented house…

Aaaaaaaanywho….Fizgig…he’s crabby right now because he’s quilling, but he’s just about done and getting nicer

…send cricket pants over…and send an extra pair of underwear!

Friend: Rebel! I’m so proud to know you.

I think I should post this conversation on my blog, with names and states changed to protect the rebellious. My readers would be proud to know cricket pants has a new job. She does kill spiders AND scorpions. How’s that for impressive? We live in a scorpion zone. And have killed over twenty a night with a black light and a blowtorch. We’re the modern day angry villagers. Torches and pitchforks are so “last century”.

[AWESOME, right?!]

Spiders? Pshaw.

Cricket Pants: ~ the 14 year old GIRL here~
In my defense I had just gotten home from swim team that day and the crickets were still in the box…. Where they had been for many days. I walk in the door and my mother yells “YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO GET OUT OF THAT SWIM SUIT AND GET THOSE CRICKETS OUT OF THE BOX 20,19,18″ I slipped off my suit and pulled on PJ bottoms and a t shirt. I was planning on getting in the shower after man handling the ferocious beasts that no one else was brave enough to get into an enclosed area with. When they swarmed me and started crawling up my pants. Just so we are all clear I did not “forget” underwear.

And I am going to need therapy…… My mom is going to have to pay for it all

cimblog(tm): As well she should! Think she’d pay for it for me too??!!

You have to know, though, you will always be “cricket pants” to me!

AND…let me just say, anyone who can kill a spider AND a scorpion is a-okay in my book…

Friend–post away. Remind me to wear a CDC suit if I ever visit you, which after all this cricket/spider/scorpion talk is unlikely. Although, blacklights and blowtorches sure sound inviting and a good time!

Friend: OK- I swear, I’m NOT making this up. I just killed a scorpion IN MY BED!!! I am never sleeping again. We’ve only seen them outside. It must have been all this trash talk that invited the icky ickster. I have the black light here by my side and am totally freaked out. (I do understand this will dissuade you from making a visit, but one scorpion in a bed every three years isn’t THAT bad… is it???)

Crap, I need some Xantac, or Xanax or Valium or whatever the drug is that will calm me down. Breathe in, breathe out…

Spider, schmider. Wrangle a scorpion and you can pretty much kill anything.

[NOT Awesome...AT ALL]

cimblog(tm): [ T H U N K ]

Friend: You can’t faint!!! I was counting on you to revive ME.

cimblog(tm): [smelling salts]

Okay…go get Cricket Pants, she’ll know what to do! I’m convinced she is some sort of insect/arachnid/scorpion (because I don’t know what they are technically) Super Hero! She has the POWWWWAAAAHHHHH! (tell her to put on underpants!)

cimblog(tm): I might also suggest you MOVE!

cimblog(tm): I had to change my sheets before going to bed on your behalf, I’m just sayin’! Also, as I was falling asleep I started giggling to myself thinking about Cricket Pants and how underwear must be her Kryptonite!